Day C
Conditioning · ~25 min
EMOM swings and a carry finisher. Bring water.
EMOM timer12 min · 60 sec rounds · tap to expand
Warmup
5 min
Cat-cow — 10 reps
On hands and knees. Inhale: drop belly, lift chest and tailbone (cow). Exhale: round back to ceiling, tuck chin (cat). Slow and controlled. Wakes up the spine.
Targets: spine, core
Hip circles — 10 each direction, each leg
Stand on one leg (hold something for balance). Lift the other knee up and trace a big circle with the knee — out to the side, back, and around. 10 forward, 10 backward, then switch.
Targets: hips, glutes
Leg swings — 10 front-to-back, 10 side-to-side, each leg
Hold a wall or post for balance. Swing one leg straight forward and back like a pendulum, 10 reps. Then swing it side-to-side across your body, 10 reps. Switch legs. Loosens the hips fast.
Targets: hips, hamstrings, hip flexors
Bodyweight squats — 10 reps, progressively deeper
Feet shoulder-width apart, toes slightly out. Sit back like into a chair, knees track over toes, chest up. Start shallow, go a little deeper each rep. By rep 10 you're going as low as comfortable.
Targets: quads, glutes, hips
Glute bridges — 10 reps
Lay on your back, knees bent, feet flat on floor. Squeeze glutes and drive hips up to ceiling until body forms a straight line from knees to shoulders. Hold 1 sec at top, lower slowly. Critical for waking up sleepy glutes.
Targets: glutes, hamstrings
World's greatest stretch — 3 each side
Lunge forward, front foot flat, back leg extended. Place opposite hand on floor inside front foot. Rotate other arm up to ceiling, follow with eyes. Hold 2 sec. Return. Switch sides. Hits hip flexor, hamstring, t-spine all at once.
Targets: hip flexors, hamstrings, thoracic spine
Inchworms — 5 reps
Stand tall. Bend forward, place hands on floor (bend knees if you have to). Walk hands forward into a high plank. Hold 1 sec. Walk feet up to hands. Stand up. Repeat. Full body warmup in one move.
Targets: hamstrings, shoulders, core
Don't skip this. 5 minutes of warmup = way fewer tweaks and pulls. Your hips have been in a chair all day — they need a minute to remember how to move.
Jump rope gets you warm fast but it's mostly vertical — it won't open your hips, which is the whole point for desk-bound tightness. So pair it with two quick hip movers: 1) Jump rope — 3 min. 2) World's greatest stretch — 3 each side. 3) Bodyweight squats — 10, progressively deeper. Still ~5 min, warmer than the full routine, and you keep the hip mobility that matters.
Keep the hip openers on swing/deadlift days — cold tight hips + heavy hinging is how backs get tweaked.
Workout
EMOM swings — 12 min: 15 swings at the top of every minute
These are just standard two-handed kettlebell swings — the same movement as Day A — run on a clock, nothing new to learn. Start your 15 swings when the timer hits :00, finish them, then rest until the next minute starts. EMOM = "every minute on the minute." You'll be drenched. Use the EMOM timer above to run it.
Targets: glutes, hamstrings, conditioning
Same EMOM structure, drop to 8–10 burpees per minute. Brutal in a different way. The hip-drive and full-body explosiveness translates well from swings. Scale down to 6/min if needed.
Targets: full body, conditioning
Farmer's carries — 5 min finisher
Pick up bell(s), stand tall — chest up, shoulders back, ribs down, core braced — and walk continuously for 5 min. Don't let the weight round your back or hike your shoulders. Set them down only when grip fails.
Targets: forearms, core, traps
30 seconds bear crawl, 30 seconds plank, repeat 5 rounds. Same "you're just trying to survive" finisher energy without the bells.
Targets: core, shoulders
Ab finisher~3 min · optional · tap to expand
~3 min · optional
Dead bug — 2 × 10 each side
On your back, arms up, knees over hips. Lower one arm and the opposite leg without letting your lower back arch, return, switch sides.
Targets: deep core, abs
Kettlebell press-out — 2 × 10 sweeps each side
Split stance, bell held by the horns and pressed out at arm's length. Sweep it toward your back foot's side and back, keeping hips and shoulders dead square — anti-rotation. Swap your back foot when you swap sides. No bell? A bird-dog gets the same anti-rotation work: on all fours, reach the opposite arm and leg out straight and square, and refuse to let your torso twist — switch sides.
Targets: obliques, deep core
Side plank — 2 × 20–30 sec each side
Elbow under shoulder, hips high, one straight line. Knees down to scale.
Targets: obliques, side body
Two rounds, minimal rest between moves. Usual honesty: this builds the ab muscle — the layer over it is the kitchen's department.
Cooldown
10 min
Pigeon pose — 90 sec each side
From hands and knees, slide one shin forward across your body so it's roughly parallel to the front of your mat, and flex that front foot to protect the knee. Extend the other leg straight back. Square hips, lower chest forward. Deep stretch in the front-leg glute. Hold 90 sec.
Targets: glutes, hips
Couch stretch — 60 sec each side
Kneel facing away from a couch/wall. Place the back foot up against the wall (top of foot on the cushion), back knee padded on the floor. Front foot flat in a lunge. Key cue: squeeze the back-leg glute and tuck your tailbone under (posterior pelvic tilt) so your lower back flattens — THEN drive that hip forward and stand tall. If you only feel it in your quad, you're arching your lower back; tuck harder and squeeze the glute to pull the stretch up into the hip flexor. Brutal at first. Game-changer for desk-bound hip flexors.
Targets: hip flexors, quads
Seated forward fold — 90 sec
Sit with legs extended straight, feet flexed. Hinge at hips (not back) and reach toward toes. Don't force it — relax into the stretch and let gravity work. Stretches hamstrings and low back. Hold 90 sec.
Targets: hamstrings, lower back
Frog stretch — 60 sec
Inner-hip openers · pick one
On hands and knees, widen your knees out to the sides as far as is comfortable, shins parallel and ankles flexed (inner edges of the feet and knees on the floor). Keep hips stacked over the knees, then slowly rock your hips back toward your heels and hold where you feel a deep inner-thigh and groin stretch. Ease off if it pinches the knees. Hold 60 sec, breathing into the hips. More intense than it looks — ease in and let the hips open.
Targets: inner thighs (adductors), groin, hips
Child's pose with side reach — 30 sec each side
Kneel with big toes touching, knees wide. Sit back on heels and reach arms forward, forehead to floor. Then walk both hands to one side to stretch the opposite lat and side body. Hold 30 sec, switch sides.
Targets: lats, side body, lower back
Long holds (60–90 sec) is where flexibility gains live. Muscles are warm and pliable — this is the most productive stretching of your day.